A Hipster Walks Into a Bar

From Cat and Girl

Bummer

Kurt Vonnegut has died at age 84. I read a whole bunch of his books one after another Junior year of high school, which I always blame for making me swear to damn much these days. I found and devoured a copy of The Bagombo Snuff Box over the summer, and it's sad to think now there won't ever be any more of it.

What If John Mayer Sang Baby Got Back?

It might sound a bit like this awesome Jonathan Coulton cover:

Astronauts

Just go watch this. Seriously. Like now.

Mars Cali Needs Women

So, this sucks:



Because this guy could not be more right about that Wintry Mix:

I don't know if any of you have ever had the pleasure of experiencing a Boston winter, but if not let me awaken your senses. It's basically an 8 month-long night of sitting in your bathtub tearlessly crying while listening to Townes Van Zandt/Joy Division mashups, half-heartedly trying to cut your wrists with the Lady Bic of some jawn you were hot for that you just found out gave brain to Mr. Len in the bathroom during some poetry slam in Central Square. No. It's really like that. For everyone. 8 months.

All those red dots are deep in the No Fly Zone.

Statute Cat

There Are Several Airports in the Bay Area

EB: Hey Trevor, you got a ride from the airport on weds yet?
EB: I'm glad to.
TA: Yeah, that would be great.
TA: I land at 7:42 pm, from Jet Blue
EB: Ok
EB: I will quantum entangle myself and show up at oakland, san jose, and san francisco at 7:42. We will then drive back in exactly 1/3 of my car.
EB: Or you can tell me the airport

The Sanctions Regime

"I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to surrender these. They're a Product of Cuba." He pronounces the capital letters. "We have an Embargo against Cuba."
"I thought there was a one-box exception. For personal use?"
"No exceptions. Embargo means Embargo."
"Didn't there used to be though? When did it change?"
"There have never been exceptions," he intones in shades of Orwell. "There has always been the Embargo."

Bastards. That was a good box of cigars.

Close to Greatness

A source tells me that a girl I kissed once holds the American record in a swimming event. That is, at some point she swam a race faster than any American woman that has ever lived. The best ever. "You must feel pretty good about yourself, hearing that," my source teasingly prompts.

She's right. I kinda do.

Maybe All We Needed Was A Little Space

I come back from a week in Jamaica (awesome) and Boston has decided that Now There Shall Be Spring. Hooray!

The New York Times is Free Again

At least if you have a .edu email address.

Quote of the Day

Last night, Charles Fried is rehearsing his cameo in the hour before curtain. I walk up and listen in, excited.

"Yes?"
"Oh, I just want to watch. I wrote this bit."
"You wrote this?"
"Yes."
"Well it doesn't make any sense."

In my defense, it was a three-word fix to make it make sense. But he did have a point.

Opening Night

Remember when this thing used to be kind of funny? It hasn't been so much lately because I've been channeling my creative energies into the HLS Parody, which I helped write and appear in. Putting in together has been an obscene amount of work. But finally, payoff.

Last night's show went incredibly well, with a great audience and a scene-stealing cameo by Alan Dershowitz. And aside from some fliers about last year's controversy, there were no major disturbances. The masked streaker, for example, had excellent comedic timing. People totally thought we were funny, and stuff.

The Decline and Fall of Higher Education

One of my friends just joined a Facebook group called "You know your in college when."

God help us all.

Baby Barista

Going a week or two without updates is pretty common in these here parts, but it feels especially barren when I do come back and there's a link in the comments to the positively verbose Baby Barista, who appears to write more good gossip in a day than I hear in a week. And in British!

The Departed

Good to see Scorsese come from behind to tie Three 6 Mafia 1-1.

Social Justice vs. Social Calendar

From an e-mail about upcoming events:

Mardi Gras at HLS
Date: Tuesday, Feb. 20
Location: The Hark
Time:
6-7:30pm: When the Levees Broke
Watch a screening of selections of Spike Lee’s film documenting Katrina’s devastation. The screening will be followed by remarks from Dean Kagan.
7:30-10pm: PARTY!!!!
Celebrate the joy and spirit of an enduring New Orleans! Eat, drink and indulge in the sultry sounds of jazz by Evan Diamond & Chris Drake.

Because, you know, nothing makes we want to get down on a Tuesday night like a documentary about the desruction and abandonment of a major American city.

States Matter

I have a new favorite part of this time of year in Cambridge. It happens a day or two after a snowstorm, when snow on the sidewalk has melted and re-frozen into a solid sheet crusted over the cobblestones. If the crust is the right thickness - around a quarter inch is ideal - it cracks and snaps as you stomp across it, and it feels like you're grinding Winter iteslf underfoot.

You'll Thank Me When You Share My Politics

I thought for a while I might post some celebratory Valentine's Day message, complete with homegrown holiday-appropriate imagery.

Well, screw that.

from the indispensable dinosaur comics

Additionally: xkcd, pbf

Replacing "Awesome"

Unfogged has suggestions:

• totally Airwolf (discussed previously in this space)
  
• wizard cocksucker
• copshow

Much useful discussion ensues. Read the comments, at least down to the recounting of using "knives out, motherfuckers!" as a friendly greeting. I think I'm taking that. I've already picked up such ridiculosities as "hella spendy." Damn you, Jason. That lingo is pants.

Hey, I Know That Guy

Congratulations to Law Review President-Elect Andrew Crespo. Article by our very own PBB.

Everyone know what this means, right? I have to start working on Andrew Crespo jokes right away. Anybody got any ideas?

It's Like Tennis, But in a Box

It seems like everybody's playing Racquetball all of a sudden. And Amazon just threw this up on my Recommended section:

What gives?

Re: Claire's Daddy

You were right NBC. I did not suspect that. Well done.

Quote of the Day

Do you guys watch Heroes? It's really good.

- Cass Sunstein

Jesus Loves Osama

You've got to respect the kind of church that posts a sign like that outside. Going way outside the box like this brings the message home much more powerfully than repeating the usual platitudes. And of course it's doctrinally correct, too. Intense.

Already Under the Wire

One unfortunate consequence of my otherwise brilliant feat of scheduling is that I have to do an entire week's worth of reading today. As you may have heard, that can be kind of a lot.

I won't have time to work tomorrow, because I have Parody rehearsal for hours , and then it's the Super Bowl. Which I can't miss, on account of being American. Parody will be fun, though. Our script was well-received at Thursday's read-through, and they found a great 1L to play Unnamed Protagonist, which was my biggest worry about the show. But right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in Admin. Which is less fun.

Books

California is working to make open-source books for K-12 education. Cool.

Also, the Coop was sold out of a book I need for a seminar on Monday, but we were 0only assigned five pages for this week, so with a bit of fiddling I could use Amazon's Search Inside feature to get what I needed until I can get the whole thing shipped.

Mean Girl

So this show 30 Rock is like Tina Fey's secret plan to make me fall in love with her, right? Because it's totally working.

iConcertCal

Julian Sanchez points me to the awesome iConcertCal plug-in for iTunes, which searches your music library and tells you when one of the bands in it is playing a show in your town.

For example, now I'm going to go see MC Lars, who lived in my dorm one year, play at the Middle East on the 27th.

Derogative Inflation

The single biggest drawback to referring to the 1Ls as freshmen (as in "So it turns out the freshman really hate it when you call them freshmen. Who knew?") is that I have no handy word when the MAC is under renovation and our beautiful gym is overrun by actual undergraduates.

I had to satisfy myself with muttering darkly about "damn kids."

Calendar Coup

I staggered out of Entertainment Law at 6:45, barely able to stand after an academic day that began at 8:15 in the morning. But a flash of insight struck, my spine straightened, and the spring returned to my step. It was already the weekend.

I Am Queens Boulevard!

I took the truly awesome Trial Advocacy Workshop over winter term, and fortunately Emily wrote a bunch of really detailed posts about what it involves, so now I don't have to. The high point for me was the jury trial where I played at witness, and my portrayal of a victim of a New York police shooting brought tears to the eyes of one juror. Despite the artificiality of the proceedings, she later told us she was convinced that I had actually been shot.

To be fair, the jurors were sixth graders, but if you can fool them, you can fool anybody.

I've Got a Case

Between my three Tuesday classes and can't-miss programming 24, Heroes, and Studio 60, I wind up having alot to do on Monday nights.

Administrative Law

Quoth the Admin casebook:

It is often remarked that the Supreme Court last used the nondelegation doctrine to invalidate a federal statute in 1935. It is less often remarked that the Court first used the nondelegation doctrine to invalidate a statute in 1935. We might therefore say that in American law, the nondelegation doctrine has had only one good year.

We have a whole class about this?

Cambridge Communist

The HLS Parody, a venerable insitution with a history of alumni much more talented than myslelf, wrapped the 2007 script tonight. It goes to the printer tomorrow, for the first cast read-through on Thursday.

Clearly, a party was in order.

However, treasured law school landmark Cambridge Commons, conveniently located at the end of my block, apparently has a policy that a table can only order one round of shots every half an hour.

This limitation was an entirely unacceptable constraint on our creative freedom, especially since the Drama Society was paying for the party. I urge future generations of celebrants to be wary of CC's deliberately slow service.

Next time, I'm pushing R.F. O'Sullivan's all the way.

How do you like that 75-68 defeat UCLA?

ESPN says of my alma mater, "Maybe now it's the Cardinal's turn to earn a ranking."

Hell yeah.

Congratulations Are In Order

He told me earlier this week, and I didn't want to be the first to write about it, but Mikey got into Harvard Business School. This is awesome for him, of course, and it means that he'll be here in Cambridge next year. Which is good, because our flag football team needs another wide out with some legs.

Congrats, Mike.

My First Outline

Fully halfway done with this busines, I try my hand at outlining for the first timne.

It's easy to get distracted.

Agency Cost FTW

After reading the first chapter, Corporations actually sounds pretty cool.

Is it wrong to say that?

Handyman

"Hey Trevor, do you have a drill?"
"A drill? No."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. Why would I have a drill?"
"Um."
"Where would I keep it? Do I seem like the kind of person who does a lot of drilling?"
"No, I guess not."
"Jeez. A drill."
"It's just I thougt you bought one when you put up those racks in the kitchen."
"Oh! That drill! Check in the black case right there."
"The one on the shelf four feet from your head?"
"Yeah. I think there's a drill in there."

There was.

Prescription Drugs

Reliable sources told me tonight that the anti-arthritis drug Celebrex is a perfect hangover prophylactic. Apparently, that's what they're learning in Health Care and the Law. My curriculum remains more traditional.

Ha-HA!

Barack Obama is Running for President

Apparently, he's on a mission to save American Politics from ... American politics. Or something. Check it out for yourself: http://www.barackobama.com/video/

Honestly, I agree. It's time for a change. America deserves leaders who went to HLS instead of Yale. That means you too, Mr. Kerry and Mrs. Clinton.

Financial Aid

I just borrowed twenty-five thousand dollars, online, in under ten minutes. Online application, instant credit check, e-sign with my Master Promissory Note. I cannot decide whether my ability to do so is a good or a bad thing.

Well, Citi is giving me prime minus an eigth, so it can't be all bad, right?

iCovet

Damn. I know what I'm spending the first $600 of my summer salary on.

Try Me

As PBB notes, The Trial Advocacy Workshop begins today in a little over an hour. I spent an ungodly amount of time on planes and in airporst over break (more on that later), so I had plenty of time to master the sample cases. One is even a Massachusetts landlord-tenant case, the kind of thing I spent all last semester working on. I'm pumped.

In Which I Get What's Coming to Me

From the excellent comic xkcd.

"Hey Trevor" you say, "shouldn't you be working on your paper right now instead of browsing the archives of geeky math-themed webcomics?"

Yeah, well fuck you too.

Why I Will Never Become a Professor

These long-form, open-ended essays, like the one I'm currently struggling to write, are the most excruciating assignments imaginable. "Say something interesting about the themes of the course" becomes very hard when you don't really have anything interesting to say. One of the things I like about law school is that the problems in law come ready-made, and you can focus on dealing with them. Somebody screwed up, and they need real answers. Writing without that kind of purpose comes out scatter-brained and unfocused, and I go half mad trying to corral enough garbage to fill fifteen pages into any kind of coherence in my head. And of course it's grindingly depressing to struggle at something you know is fundamentally useless.

Worst of all, they seem to get harder to write every time, even controlling for length and subject matter complexity. Extrapolating from current trends, I figure I have maybe two or three good academic papers left in me lifetime. The way costs are trending, by the time I wring that last paper out of a battered laptop, I'll emerge from weeks of solitude broken and crumpled, babbling nonsense fragments before collapsing in a wretched heap upon the floor. So look for that to happen around June.

Merry Christmas

It is a sunny 71 degrees outside.

I love this town.

Best. Season. Ever.

No, seriously. 13-2 is a franchise-best record for the Chargers.

And what a way to win it.

Making Reactionary Look Good

Wonkette points to a remarkably well-illustrated forthcoming NRA comic book.


My first thought is no way this can be legit - the politics is off, and frankly, the art is too damn good. But then, I thought Liberality, the comic book starring Sean Hannity as a crimefighting cyborg, was a parody. Turns out the people mean it. So who knows? Maybe this one is real too.

Areas of My Expertise

2L Summer Employer wanted me to fill out a bunch of employment forms and send them in, which I finally took a moment to do now that finals are over. The last page of the form for the office directory had a field for "interests." I immediately wrote in "water polo" and "swimming," and then "theater" after some reflection. Three didn't seem like enough. You can't have to office thinking you don't have any interests. I nearly wrote "comedy," but that felt like a silly thing to put down, and it's not like I go to stand-up clubs. You can't put down "politics" because that invites contentious and awkward conversations about how you think your co-workers are ruining America. I considered adding "music" and "hanging out with my friends," but then I remembered this wasn't going on MySpace. "Drinking" looks bad on an employment document, no matter how much fun it is to do. But I had to think of something, or I would be the Boring Guy at the office. "Water polo, swimming, theater," looked forlorn sitting by themselves on the page, even lonely. I needed something, anything to round out my list.

In the end I settled on "dinosaurs" and "rocketships."

Reunions

I was eating lunch when George called, with a law school classmate in the Atlanta airport, on layover for flights to California. "Hey Trevor," he said, "there's an alumni water polo game tonight, can you make it?"
"What time?"
"7:30"
"At Canyonview?"
"Yeah."
"Cool, my flight lands at five. See you there."

I get there and sure enough, there's a dozen of my best friends from high school, already pale reflections of the athletes we used to be, trying to prove otherwise by playing a lineup of seventeen year olds form our alma mater. The little punks jump to an early lead, because they're quick on the counterattack, while most of us can't swim two pool lengths without losing our breath. Tyler confesses to me after the game, "I hated turnovers so much, I got mad when they missed shots. It was like, 'bastards are making me swim!'"

Our only saving grace was a deep bench - we could do a full line change after every goal, and by the end of the game pretty much needed to. We pulled away in the third quarter once John singled out their ringer and decided to shut down their offense single-handedly, and the rest of us began to compensate for our lack of conditioning by repeatedly sinking the naively rule-following high schoolers. In the end, their youth and skill succumbed to our age and treachery, and we grizzled veterans (none of us older than 25) departed, panting and wheezing, into the night.

Due Process THIS!

After handing in a Constitutional Law final exam that contained both the words "Reconquista" and "Klingon" this afternoon, all I have to do is write the my paper about how the legal profession makes me feel and I'm outta here. One problem, though: I have to pack both for San Diego for when I head home and for Minnesota where I'm meeting my best friends for New Years. I've got my Rainbows stashed right next to my scarf and mittens.

Do This Now

Click here and download John Hodgman's book for free on iTunes. Do it right now. He's a Daily Show correspondent, plays PC on those apple commercials, and an absolutely hysterical author. Go get it now before they take it away.

Inspiration from Boing Boing by way of Eric Burns.

King Cotton Pot

According to the LA Times, Marijuana is now America's biggest cash crop.

A report released today by a marijuana public policy analyst contends that the market value of pot produced in the U.S. exceeds $35 billion — far more than the crop value of such heartland staples as corn, soybeans and hay, which are the top three legal cash crops.

And that's without federal subsidies.

FOX News Says I Have a Vagina

Or something like that. Local news report that Harvard will allow men and women to be roommates. The horror! As the anchor reporting on the scene elaborates, "Are they gonna have that time of the month together too? 'Cause what guy would sign up for this, other than one that has that issue."

You can imagine how upset this has made me, living with not one but two female roommates. I have a vagina and didn't even know about it! I can see how this sort of thing would escape my notice - I'm notoriously absent-minded. But it's distressing to think I had one there all along and I wasn't getting any use out of it. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Also, I haven't had my period since I moved in here in September. Could I be pregnant? Obviously it would one of those immaculate thingies.

(thanks to feministing for the link)

Best Song to Which to Write a Final Exam

I Fought the Law (And the Law Won)?

Synthesis Becomes Radicalization

The thesis of my answer to the take-home portion of my Evidence exam, as informed by my study of moral and political philosophy, my instruction in this semester's Legal Professions seminar, and my experience at the Legal Services Center:

The adversarial system is evil. The bar foisted it upon you before you had this whole 'democracy' thing sorted out, and we've kept it in place because it makes us richer and more powerful than you. If you know what's good for you, you'll start chipping away at attorney-client privilege right now.

So we'll see how that flies. The professor did seem to have a fondness for Jeremy Bentham's ranting about how awful the common law is, but that could have just been bemusement. Oh well.

Person of the Year

Time Magazine says it's YOU since modern technology has made you all empowered and expressive. I'm sure Glenn Reynolds is wetting his pants with enthusiasm at the endorsement of his thesis.

So check out the story of one Person of the Year in particular, who did his generation proud when his teacher started spouting creationist and soteriological dogma in his public high school class - he made and shared recordings.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant, and it's getting easier to shine it into shady corners.

Moratoria are Passé

Gawker has a list of conversational cliches one must never again use. I for one welcome our new lexical overlords, and respect their authority.

TAL PSA

This American Life, the incredibly good NPR radio show, is now available via podcast. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just go over there tight now, and you can thank me later.

Psychosomatic

Where I come from winter isn't a season that settles in over you so much as a destination one can visit. Back home it gets a little cooler and a little rainier, but Winter proper stays up in the mountains where it belongs.

Last night I dreamt I was on a weekend ski trip, with all the hilarity and personal injury that entails, including the obligatory massive hangover in the mornings. Then when I woke up today (technically in the afternoon) I had an actual hangover, even though I didn't drink at all last night. It feels like getting the bill for someone else's credit card. Only instead of dollars, transactions are measured in pain.

Speaking of personal injury, I would totally wear this shirt to class.

Maverick

Speaking of trials, we had our introductory meeting for the intensive, three-week Trial Advocacy Workshop this afternoon. The instructor paced back and forth across Ames courtroom as he explained to the hundred-odd students what we were in for. It felt like a speech on the first day of flight school.

This will be the most intense academic period of your law school career. You will be forced to confront what is consistently found the most frightening situation in all of human experience: public speaking. I can personally guarantee that you will not be the same person at the end of this program that you were when you started it.

They make it clear that our training will be rigorous.

You will be expected to work hard every day, and show up prepared. You will work with your classmates. Some of them will be able to teach you just as much as we are. Because we are learning together, we will also be eating together, every day. We will regularly videotape your performance in class and review it for errors. By the end of the course, you will have conducted direct and cross examinations, made motions and objections, and argued two full cases in their entirety.

We are reminded as well of the stakes.

Your trials will be held with real judges, in real Massachusetts courthouses. The juries in your trials will not be other law students, or the families and friends of law students. They will be complete strangers, and they will be returning verdicts. Some of you will win, and some of you will lose.

I'm pumped. I want to go watch Top Gun.

Doe v. Kamehameha

Summer Employer had just hired former Stanford Law dean Kathleen Sullivan to runs its appeallate program, and showed off by taking the summer class down to the courthouse on 8th street to watch her argue Doe v. Kamehameha before the 9th Circuit en banc. It was an impressive thing to watch, but none of us had any idea how it might come down. Turns out she won.

A Tale

This is the best internet message board post I have ever seen.

But I would like it, wouldn't I? It's all "meta" and stuff.

Puppy Love

It is a very silly joke, but I need one today. From McSweeney's, Recently Retired Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan Warns His New Puppy Against "Irrational Exuberance." A taste:

You could claim that a strong definition of rationality requires that I make improper assumptions about preferences, and that a weak definition forces me into the tautology of declaring that all choices must be rational because they were chosen. You could make these arguments, but I do not believe you will, because you are a puppy.

The 1L Job Search

It's December now, which means 1Ls
can start applying for firm jobs for the summer. I got a lot of questions about the process last night when I showed up for the second half of
a California Club jobs panel / wine tasting. I'm no expert, but I know what happened for me.

I picked the markets I wanted to target (San Diego and San Francisco), sent a cover letter and a resume to every firm in those cities that was hiring 1Ls starting December 1st and had a litigation department. I knew that the yield for these things was very low, so I did very cursory research up front and tried to just maximize the number of chances I'd give myself. I didn't write a new cover letter every time - I just wrote one that had two sentences I'd customize to each firm.

My initial mass mailing (pictured) had close to forty envelopes, which resulted in one interview. That's about the rate of return I'd been told to expect. Because actual interviews were rare, I spent a lot of time researching the firm offering me one so I could make the most of that chance. Through sheer blind luck, they sounded like a great fit, and the interview went really well. When they gave me a job offer, I accepted immediately. I had another volley of mailings ready to send out on January 15 (or whenever the other date was that a lot of firms started taking 1L resumes) that I never sent.

The important thing to keep in mind is that you're taking a whole lot of low-percentage shots, but you only need one success. Going 1-for-100 is winning.

Big Media

Cool! Today's Boston Globe has a big story about the clinical program I'm in. The focus is on the program as a way for young lawyers to get ever-rarer courtroom experience. I chose the housing clinical because it had a reputation for sending students into court the most, so that's pretty validating.


I will be working at that very table tomorrow morning, under the supervision of the two lawyers you see talking there on the right. The story says they're changed the rules to let us at the Lawyer For A Day table actually make arguments in court - which I hadn't heard about but would be good news. Previously we could give advice and help clients prep, and we could represent them in out-of-court mediations. It would be great if it brings more volunteers in too - it always feels like battlefield medicine out there. People come in with these grave problems and all you can do is try to patch them up in a hurry and hope for the best.

Now back to editing my memo for Rounds tomorrow. I think it's due by 5 today.

Late Additions to the Roster

I suppose I should have mentioned Harvward Bound earlier. I know Andrew from the musical. Good kid.

Political Engagement

Today must have been Democrat Day here. John Edwards was doing a signing at a bookstore off the square so I dropped by, but his speech and the Q&A were cancelled by the bookseller at the last minute. They wanted him to focus on revenue-driving signings. Later the HLS Democrats had a dinner with former New Hampshire governor Jane Shaheen and Congressman-elect John Hall from New York. There was free chicken parm! Shaheen is a big DLC moderate who chaired Kerry's presidential campaign and John Hall is a musician with views left of Lennon's (look, a pun!), so I was mildly disappointed that they didn't so much as bicker. I wanted to ask Hall if he thought is would be desirable or even possible to try to reach deals with the president, as opposed to just passing popular things to make him look like an ass for vetoing them. Sadly, I didn't get picked in the brief Q&A. Instead we got to hear both of them hedge about Hillary's presidential prospects.

I sat around afterwards with the law school's hardcore campaign junkies as they handicapped '08. Most interesting prediction: Obama will officially declare in two weeks, raise a ton of money over the Internet, and replace Clinton as the presumptive front-runner. Plus, Clinton isn't actually going to run anyway. "I mean, we all know she can't win, right? And they're probably as smart as we are. Maybe even smarter." Then we had an extensive discussion about exactly how one would have that focus grouped without letting on that it was the Hillary campaign doing the asking.

When I got home I saw my shirt had arrived from JohnEdwardsIsGood.com. Better late than never.


I figured I'd share since photos of my in navy tees with yellow writing drive the internets wild.

BUI

Yes, Anchor steam is good. Drinking Anchor Steam while biking, maybe not such a good idea. Hope they wear helmets.

Verbing Weirds Language

Facebook has a feature called Status. There's a little box that says "I am [blank]" and you fill in the [blank], and then all your friends can see a little message that says "Trevor is [blank]."

I suppose it was created with prepositional phrases like "in the library" in mind, but we quickly moved on to other parts of speech. I had my most vivid oh-my-gods-I'm-really-in-law-school moment last week when my companions at lunch had the following exchange:

A: "I really love your facebook status, B. 'B is a gerund.' Hot."
B: "Yeah, I guess I should probably change that to 'present participle.'"
A: "Oh. I thought you had it wrong on purpose, and that was a joke."

Me, I just changed my [blank] to "going to defer to experience, and stop ascribing your mom's description of him as a 'sex god' to hyperbole," because I'm fourteen and I like your mom jokes.

Also, I like your mom.

In bed.

I'll stop now.

Fresh Indignities

San Diego's thrilling comeback win over hated rivals the Raiders was preempted by my local CBS affiliate for ... motocross.


Plus, the Pats beat the Bears.

The Leviathan

In one of my cases for the clinical program, our clients had won a very large judgment against their landlord at trial just before I was assigned. After getting an appeal dismissed, I had to file for an execution, which tells the state to enforce the judgment. You do this be sending a certified copy of the judgment and a nice letter to the local sheriff. He then takes the creditor's land (by force, if necessary), auctions it off, and hands the proceeds to you. No amount philosophy reading could so forcefully drive home the point that political power is ultimately founded on the capacity to project violence.

You can even see the sheriff's report in the registry of deeds:

This execution was this day at thirty minutes past nine o' clock in the forenoon placed in my hands for the purpose of taking the lands of the within named judgment debtor(s) Firstname Lastname.

And at said time I seized and took all the right, title and interest which the within named judgment debtor(s) Firstname Lastname had (not exempt by law from attachment or levy on execution) on November 15, 2006 at thirty minutes past nine o' clock in the forenoon, (being before the time the same was taken on execution) in and to the following described real estate and is bounded and described as follows, viz:

[property description]

and I have levied this execution thereupon. (And immediately afterwards, by direction of the creditor's attorney [Me!] I suspended the further levy of this execution on said real estate.)

We've told the sheriff to hold off on the police auction for the moment for strategic reasons, but that's at our discretion. I could write a letter on Monday, and people with guns would go take some person's house away.

I for one am terrified.

Puritans

It is apparently against the law in Massachusetts to buy a bottle of wine on Thanksgiving.

I don't think I should have to explain how unacceptable this is.

Dead Enders

Today's Achewood could not be more true.


Every time some entity (and it is almost always a university or a government) insists on the transmission of a physical copy of some piece of information, I want to arrive in person and start breaking things. Electrons aren't good enough for you? Barbarians.

Orientations

I've been busy all week with performances of the law school fall musical, The Wild Party. Last night was the final show. We had to schedule it earlier than the others because the campus GLBT group was throwing their big OutLaw dance (get it?) in the room we were using as a theater. We were still striking the set after the show when guests started to show up. So I'm carrying fragments of scenery out to the dumpster, still in my stage makeup, when I run into an acquaintance from last year who's going into the dance.

"Hey Trevor! I didn't know you were ... um ..."
"Oh, no. I 'm just here because I was in the musical."
"..."
"That doesn't really change anything, does it?"

Rising to the Challenge

Reeling from my blistering criticism of his laziness, college roommate Mikey launches a newer, more pretentiously named blog. Could be good reading if you've ever wondered what exactly young hotshot management consultants do all day.

Tivo

If The Office wasn't already perfect, Friday Night Lights would be the best program on television.

Boutique Appeal

Full-service law firms have not fared well under my evaluation regime (and perhaps because they can sense this, I have not fared well under theirs). The lawyers at 1L Summer Employer styled themselves trial specialists, the legal equivalents of Smokejumpers, parachuting into the middle of bet-the-company litigation at the very moment when things seemed to be completely out of control. I still think that's awesome, and need to work out a way to spend a few weeks with them back in SF.

But I want to try a stretch back home in San Diego, and spend most of my interview time searching down there. I met a lot of people I'd enjoy working with. But these decisions aren't made entirely rationally, and a series of coincidences over the last few days has convinced me the I know where I belong. I am, I have been reminded, a big geek. I should really do IP.

It came to me the other day. A friend had just posted pictures of my Aquaman costume on facebook. I had just finished setting the port mapping on my wireless router so I could host a wiki for the drama club. I took ab reak by watching Battlestar Galactica. And then I got a package from IP Boutique. The one whose Big Rockstar Partner had a giant poster of the USS Enterpirse in his offce. The goodies were nice, but the real tipping point was this handwritten note. Less for what it says than for the penmanship. That cramped, rushed style - the mark of a writer more concerned about the information conveyed than niceties about how it gets there. It looks just like mine.

Improbable Heartthrob

Yesterday, a friend looking over my shoulder coomented that this blog "Makes women fall in love with [me]."

I know. I think it sounds crazy too. But I suppose it takes all kinds.

Maybe I should send the link out more.

Christmas Come Early

So this is what winning feels like. Feels good, doesn't it, guys? We should do this more often.

Quote of the Day

"Polls are now closed in California, also known as Cali, if you're kind of a douchebag."
-Jon Stewart

Is It Still Too Early To Rub It In?

As I walked by, the atmosphere at the Federalists' election night party seemed decidedly subdued.

1-0

Clinical work may be better that I originally gave it credit for. I went to actual court and argued an actual motion on Tuesday. I won! And clearly my fame has spread - the other side didn't even show up. THey must have feared my masterful stammering.

We were moving to dismiss their appeal because the other side filed it late. As the minutes wore on my supervisor and I really started to hope they'd turn up, just so we could make great jokes about how they were late to their hearing about filing a late appeal. How appropriate!

But we never got to make that joke, so now I'm relaying it to you. I am now telling hypothetical jokes.

It's been that kind of week.

All Politics is Retail

Figuring I'd show some love for a fellow trial lawyer, I joined the John Edwards 2008 group on Facebook. BY then end of the day, whoever he's got on the campaign team doing internet outreach had sent me a little message from the Senator's profile saying thanks for my support. That sort of thing only takes second to do (heck, it could even be automated - I could tell you how) but it makes me feel connected. Being fully aware of the dynamic doesn't seem at all to decrease its effectiveness. The little touches still count.

Friday Tuesday Cat Blogging

A message from my feline summer roommates:

Ernest Cline is Airwolf

My brother just pointed me to these spoken-word gems by Ernest Cline, who could be Dane Cook's geekier older brother. Listening is better than reading, but if you need prompting, here's a snippet from Nerd Porn Auteur:

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind. Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are. You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses. Betty Binabowski the valedictorian. Oh yes. First I wanna copy her trig homework, then I wanna make mad, passionate love to her, for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop, because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Best Noun Phrase I've Seen Today

"sawed-off station wagon"

300

Million Americans, that is.

Congrats.

I Too Am Having Difficulty Coming Up With A Costume

Toothpaste for Dinner

Set Your Neighbor's House on Fire

Married to the Sea is cool.

More Apparel Design

The IM Flag Football league provided uniforms this year, a welcome upgrade from last season. But for my team, the Blue Thunder Squids, the design they used was insufficiently legendary. I was compelled to make improvements. After extensive concept sketching in Con Law, I made a stencil out of posterboard and spray-painted on my own graphic. With any luck, by our next game I'll have the whole team sporting these:


The stencil, pre-thunderbolt:

Winning the Break-Up

I just rejected my first callback - it was less empowering than one might have expected.

I Love the Smell of Patriarchy in the Morning

Sunday afternoon flag football games are the high point of my week. Last week we played a glorious match in pouring rain on a swamp of a field, and came home covered head-to-toe in mud. Everyone should be able to live like that. So I enthusiastically support the Women's Law Association going out of its way to recruit women's teams to play in the league.

Today, however, we are playing at team styling themselves "The Herricanes." When the other side so explicitly identifies themselves with a gender, I find myself involuntarily doing the same. Go men! Crush those girls! Strangely, our middle linebacker tells me she feels the same way. Which is good, because me need some big tackles out of her this week.

The Revamped 1L Year at HLS

Official announcement with details here.

I hear they're finally pushing 1L grades back before winter break. I may have come here 2 years too soon.

Out With the Old?

HLS faculty unanimously approved sweeping changes to the first-year curriculum in a closed-door meeting yesterday afternoon.

... the century-old first-year curriculum covering traditional common law topics‚contracts, torts, property, civil procedure, and criminal law‚will be constricted, and courses on policy (“Legislation and Regulation”) and international law (“International Law and Problems and Theories”) will be added.

Full article in The Crimson.

I know students have been grumbling about this for a long time, but I never really expected anything to change, and especially not suddenly or unanimously.

Cool.

What if Nietzsche Wrote The Family Circus?

The results would look something like this.

Greatly Exaggerated

Mikey demands updates, though the withered husk of his own atrophied blog was long ago carried off by bitter winds. So be it.

Class is the same as it ever was. Evidence is too early in the morning (8:45). Con Law is interesting and well-taught, but the professor pauses for rhetorical effect an order of magnitude more often than is called for. Quality would be greatly improved by recording the lectures and watching them at double speed, or at least time-and-a-half. All the rest of my classes are somehow tied to work at the clinical office.

Clinical work is, from an objective standpoint, more than a little insane. Explicitly modeled on the "Watch one, do one, teach one," model of clinical instruction in medical residency, it essentially flings us headfirst into court to (mal)practice on indigent clients. I can't decide what's more horrifying, that they entrust people's futures to entirely green students with no real world experience and only minutes to prepare, or that this still tends to generate wildly better outcomes from the system than poor folks could secure on their own. Sometimes the law seems intentionally designed to stomp underfoot people foolish or irresponsible enough to find themselves at its mercy. Especially terrible are the clerks at the Massachusetts court. They love us because they sympathize somewhat with our causes, and more importantly because we suck up to them shamelessly, but they are the most repugnant petty bureaucrats I have ever encountered. "You have to be nice to us," they gleefully cackled on our first-day courthouse tour, "or we might lose some important paper. We can make your life real hard." I should know better than to be surprised, but it's still breathtaking to see firsthand how clerks doing the most menial clerical work for a government agency become tinpot dictators when you give them de facto power to (quite literally) ruin people's lives. So we smile and laugh and rub their dirty little egos and accept it as a part of doing business.

From a student's perspective, clinical practice isn't all that it's cracked up to be. You get a lousy exchange rate - one credit unit for every five hours. That's like pro-rating it as though a full 12-unit academic schedule was a 60-hour week, which is flat out crazy. And of course the commute to the center where we work is over an hour each way by subway. When you get there, the work is immediate, gritty, and mundane. A plurality of my working time is spent playing phone tag with unreliable clients. We do get to do some exciting things, but the opportunity costs are enormous. It's almost as bad as Law Review would be.

So my private-sector leanings have been confirmed. Corporations may be ruthless and amoral, but they're quasi-rational and at least you know where to find them. Speaking of which, we're into the second week of OCI, which is like speed dating for legal careers. After day 1 (four interviews) I was over the whole process. No more terror, and no more joy. The worst kind of interview is when they just ask you if you have any questions for them, answer them tersely, and wait for you to come up with more. Even if you're prepared to carry the conversation for twenty minutes (never mind 4-6 such conversations in a day, with class interspersed), it's not even a reliable way to get information about a firm. How am I going to be able to tell if they're telling the truth? Some of these people have been taking and defending depositions longer than I have been alive. I actually went meta and explained this dynamic to one interviewer, which in retrospect may have been a bit of a strategic blunder.