Friday, August 11, 2006

Parasitism

Two friends from college, now a management consultant and a commodities trader, came by to visit earlier this week, and after catching an A's game we met up at my house. Before long we were embroiled in a furious game of Beirut with another guest.

Trader: So Guest, what do you do in the city?
Guest: I do neurobiology research.
Trader: Oh really?
Guest: At a lab down in Stanford.
Me: Wow. Cool.
Consultant: Yeah, you actually do something useful.
Trader: Huh?
Me: You actually contribute to society. We sure don't.
Consultant: Ha-ha. Yeah.
Trader: Hey, I contribute.
Me: No you don't. What do you contribute?
Trader: Sure I do. I contribute liquidity.
Me: Psht. Liquidity.
Consultant: Hell, I contribute Innovative Business Strategies.
Me: Taking Advantage of Untapped Efficiencies?
Consultant: Creating Synergies, Facilitating Free Exchange, Filling Unmet Demand.
Me: Sure, and I Provide A Non-Violent Framework For Adversarial Dispute Resolution.
Trader: Rule of Law. That stuff's important.
Consultant: Important so other people can contribute.
Trader: Even if we don't.
Me: Face it guys, we're all just transaction costs.
...
Guest: So, were you planning on shooting at some point, or what?

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