Monday, July 25, 2005

The Funny Meme

Yeah so I did the quiz too.
the Wit
(56% dark, 39% spontaneous, 27% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK




You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean you're
pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that 'the
Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor
and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat. I
guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the
perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor
takes the most effort to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my
opinion.



Also, you probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.



PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais



My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on dark
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 33% on spontaneous
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 35% on vulgar
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

It seems to me that it doesn't work well to give you a point on three axes. Some of us hapen to have a comic range, able to enjoy both the subtle ironies of great literature and great honking farts. I think it would have been better if the format was more, "check all that you find funny."

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Harry Skywalker and the Half-Blood Prince

I finally broke down and read the new Potter book. My brother had just finished and it was lying around so I picked it up, resigning myself to enjoy it without the sonorous voice of Jim Dale. I'm going to try not to give anything away, but I'm still going to write about it now, and if you're concenred that I might let something slip, you can stop reading now. Josh, this means you.

I read the thing practically cover-to-cover, so clearly I thought it was gripping and exciting. But I also loved how dozens of little things were done. I love the attention to detail in the social dynamic of Harry, Ron and Hermione, and all of their petty squables. I love how Dumbledore handles it when Harry disappoints him. I love that there's good reason for why the battle goes as well as it does. I love the gimmick in the first Quiddich match, even if you see it from a mile away. I love the way Fleur is handled throughout, and especially at the end. I especially love Dubledore's talk with Harry about the special power he has, and I love the Obi-Wan Kenobi act where that kind of power shows its true strength. And of course I love the violent suddenness of the marquee death - how like the real world!

Only two small quibbles: I don't understand why the silent loner hero thing at the end is so easily accepted, and I wonder what they'll call the seventh book now that Harry's dead.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Firm

So apparently David E. Kelley is making a reality TV show around courtroom performances by trial lawyers. I can't say whether or not I'll watch this. Not because I have self-important notions about how it may reflect on the legal profession, or self-righteous condescension towards reality television but because I'm just not a very reliable television viewer. I wanted to watch 24 and Alias religiously because I thought they were engaging, but I was only able to because Mike watched them too and would remind me when they were on. The Daily Show has been my favorite thing on television for over five years, but I still only catch one or two episodes a week because I always forget when it's on. This is a show that airs literally every day in the same time slot. But I still regularly miss it.

Anyway, the story about the show ends with two people who think this show is Bad For America. Quips professor of legal ethics Victor Goode, ""What's next for reality TV? Which doctor can take out a gall bladder the best?" You know what? I'd watch that.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Wonderland

I love Las Vegas. Yes, I am easily charmed by bright shiny lights, and by places that will serve you alcohol literally at any time. But it's more than that. I love the town because it is completely shameless. There is a fake pyramid, a fake Eiffel Tower, and a fake New York skyline. There's a small handful of buildings styled after European palaces, except fifty stories tall. The Bellagio has an enormous lake in front of it, so you can only enter from the sides, a lake filled with jets to shoot the water tens of stories into the air. The strip is one long string of egregious baubles. It's all so colossally, monumentally stupid. But, and this is the key, it's also normal there. Never mind that it's a hundred and fourteen degrees outside, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, it's perfectly reasonable to put faux European capitols down in there side-by-side. They belong there. So does everyone else. High rollers that want to bet thousands of dollars on a dice roll or hand of cards next to pasty tourists in shorts too short and sandals with socks. Five-star restaurants and unkempt migrants handing out escort service playing cards. I-banking hotshots in for the night from SF and chain-smoking eighty-year-old grandmothers. It all belongs there, and when it's in Vegas, needs not apologize for itself. You get fifty-year-old men in factory-ripped jeans and shirts a size too small unbuttoned to the navel, busts "enhanced" with silicon and saline to make them perfectly spherical, taxis with custom rims, and all of it is ready to meet derision or despair with perfect nonchalance. Everything is in Vegas is stupid and crazy. But it's okay. In Vegas, stupid and crazy are just fine.

At one point there was a brief discussion about the word "egregious" and what it really meant which led to it being adopted as a synonym for awesome and the new catchphrase of the trip. "Yeah man! You just hit the hard eight! That was egregious!" I met a cool 3L, and together we decided we would do all the monosyllabic Vegas nightclubs one better by opening our own joint called "Of." I think someone stole my cell phone at one of those places. I rode with two college friends up from LA and the drive both ways flew by as we had those long and far-reaching conversations about everything that articulate TV characters have and that real people never seem to. The last night we were there we were out a club until 6:30 in the morning, and spent the whole cab ride home dazed and blinking. The driver described himself as a "ho-ologist" and spent much of the ride laying out an elaborate taxonomy of his own devising.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Swingin'

I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning. Talk to you all when I get back.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Last Man

My brother just got back from preview night at the Comic Con, and he brought back two amazing trades, Vertigo's The Last Man, volumes 1 and 2. The premise is that some (so far unexplained) catastrophe instantaneously kills off every mammal on Earth with a Y chromosome, except for the main character and a Friends style helped monkey he was unsuccessfully trying to train. The story stays fresh and inventive through both books, but you can tell you're into somehting good right from the first few pages. Yorrick (for that's his name), is an ameteur escape artist, and you watch him wriggle out of a straghtjacket in flat, cramped drawings, inside a shuttered apartment while he talks about agoraphobia with his girlfriend, pictured hiking through sweeping Australian vistas. You've got all your thematic elements laid out form the start, but in a way that works without being showy. I mean, there are so many layers. It's like an onion, man.

God I'm a geek.

Limited Invulnerability

I went to the doctor today to get a new tetanus shot - apparently my old one was out of fashion. Or at least I thought I was only getting a tetanus shot. Turns out it was a setup, an ambush, and once they had me down there they decided to stick me with drugs for hepatitis A (again), meningitis (again) and the whooping cough. Newly impervious to so many different kinds of harm, I now feel the need to do somehting needlessly reckless to compensate.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Nazis In Texas

When I got back from more basketball tonight, my parents were watching a show on PBS called History Detectives. They were talking to some woman from Hearne, Texas, who thought that some land her ancestors owned housed an internment camp during World War 2. An internment camp for Germans.

This sounds crazy right? It's not. Apparently at one point there were over half a million German POWs being held on American soil. Sure enough, the government appropriated 300 acres of this woman's family's land and built a POW camp, right in the middle of Texas. You see, it turns out that there's a provision in the Geneva conventions about what kind fo climate prisonerts can be kept in. Soldiers held in Hearne, Texas had been captured while fighting in North Africa, and the Powers That Were decided Texas had the most North-Africa-Like climate of any allied territory.

Imagine being drafted into the German army, being shipped off to Africa, suffering some of the first German defeats of the war, being taken prisoner, and then being shipped off to Texas! You just have to be thinking, "Was?" Then when you get there, they're allowed to put you to work, including in agriculture, so you wind up picking cotton. They hold old photos of the prisoners doing exactly that. THat kind of culture shock has to be near-fatal.

There was also a slightly scary bit about the underground activities of former Nazi party members. They published an underground newspaper inside the prison and even built a short-wave radio they used to contact other POWs. They ran their side of the camp until they murdered an informant one night and the guards segregated the prisoners by ideology.

So I thought that was a cool story and I wanted to share it.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Combat!

Bad Glacier has challenged me for rights to the Evil Twin title, to be settled by honorable combat between Giant Battle Monsters, in accordance with prophesy and ancient custom. No doubt he will be left quavering in fear when he comes to behold the monstrosity opposite him in the Arena:

T Sinister

is a Giant Lizard that has Enormous Tusks, carries a Ray Gun, is Covered with a Thick Slime, and can Regenerate and Change Colour.

Strength: 12 Agility: 6 Intelligence: 3



To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat T Sinister, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights T Sinister using


If anyone else wants a piece, I'll be stomping around right here, using my powers for Awesome.

UPDATE: My [evil/goody-two-shoes] twin at Bad Glacier demonstrates great [cunning/cowardice] and, seeing that no beast of his could match T Sinister for sheer stompiness, elects to go with a nimbler and cleverer champion, some kind of rusted, rabid robot. I have been temporarily defeated, and must retreat to my [glacial fortress/secret volcano lair] in order to [recover my strength/plot and scheme], before I can hope to return and [bring him to Justice/claim what is rightfully mine].

Friday, July 08, 2005

Frenching Volokh

Eugene Volokh suddenly and enthusiastically gets into the kissing day spirit, if a little late. Volume to compensate for tardiness?

Just Like Old Times

I got together with three friends from high school last night, guys I know from the swim and polo teams. We played basketball at the Boys' and Girls' Club where we used to swim, and let to play some low-stakes poker. I still can't shhot worth a damn, but against a bunch of swimmers I can be an inside presence. Still have to work on finishing with my right, though.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

London

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of London this morning.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Fellow Travelers

Found and put up links to a small host of other incoming 1L's. You can access their compelling stories and whatnot from the links at right. And if you're an incoming 1L with a blog of your own, e-mail me, or leave a comment.

Nothing Nice To Say

is a comic, mostly about the punk music scene. I've never really been sympathetic to the kind of tribal warfare that hardcore music fans get into, but there's a kind of cheery misanthropy that they pull off well there. For example, this strip warmed the black depths of my soul.

Charles Darwin Has A Posse

Head over to this page at Swarthmore and print out a sheet of stickers that look like this one:

Link via BoingBoing.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

New Copper Comic

Kazu at Bolt City puts these out once a month. There's a new one up now. The joke is a very old one, but there's some good visual humor that's well executed. My favorite bit, though, is that the hatter is right at first: Fred looks better in the blue than he would in Maroon. Oh just shut up and go read the comic.

Media Gluttony

One of my favorite things about having this place is that I can take something I've been thinking about, something I saw or read recently, and just off-load it onto the site. Once it's set down here, I don't have to think about it actively, until it comes up again. But lately, I've been building a backlog. Lazing around on my ass, but frantically fleeing boredom, I move on to the next thing before I have a moment to compose my thoughts about it. I don't want to write anything unless it looks interesting, but that means I don't write anything, and I get this kind of mental indigestion. So forgive the extended metaphor while I brain-vomit all over this page.

The War of the Worlds is creepy, especially because you never see any politicians or other figures of authority. It's all just about one guy, and it seems like he's all on his own against the invaders (and the rest of humanity). It's pretty scary.

I was originally cynical about Peter Jackson's announcement that he wanted to remake King Kong, but we saw the trailer before War and it was breathtaking.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is thoroughly silly, but I like that sort of thing. Said one companion, "Poor Jenny Anniston never had a chance." This is true.

I've got my hands on an advance review copy of Rick Moody's (forthcoming?) The Diviners, which seemed slow and self-indulgent for the first sixty pages but suddenly reached critical mass and all of a sudden is quick and funny.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone reading Accelerando, even though it's free. It's about how the world will undergo almost unthinkably radical changes as AI and neural input technologies develop, but the universe is too damn consensual. The main characters all get out of binds by making incredibly clever legal moves, trying to trick and outsmart their enemies. It's dirty, but everyone plays by the rules. Nobody ever just flips the board over and uses force. This becomes tiresome, and doesn't sound very realistic.

I've been re-reading the Calvin and Hobbes tenth anniversay book, whic has all kinds of interesting commentary by Watterson.

And I've been listening to the Willie Nelson compilation Revolutions of Time. i like the first two discs, but the tird one with all the guests doesn't feel right.

Ah, there. I feel better now. Must learn to use drafts, pace self. This would be be valuable skill.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

How Can You Tell If You're The Evil Twin?

Bad Glacier sounds a whole lot like me. You know what they say: fools seldom differ.

Bangkok 8

I finished reading Bangkok 8 last night. Of course it was great, or it wouldn't be worth talking about. The story is two parts detective thriller and one part Buddhist magic realism. The book aggressively defies conventioanl plot dvices and morality, and if you're willing to go along for the ride it's a lot of fun. With all that messiness, I don't think I could have readit and enjoyed it a few years ago, so I'm glad it came along when it did. I remember now Erem telling me about reading House of the Spirits, "Sometimes there's some crazy shit, but that's just how they roll."

Edit: Man, I can't even spell "Bangkok" when I've got the book right in front of me.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Jim Dale

I have a confession: I've never read a Harry Potter book. This isn't so strange in itself, because though they are engaging stories they are also targeted at a slightly younger demographic than mine. They are children's books. Which is why it's somewhat embarrassing to admit that I haven't read any of these children's books because, like an illiterate barbarian, I have listened to them on CD instead. In my defense, the recordings are top-notch, done by an actor named Jim Dale, who does voices for all the characters and everything. There's a story about him and the Potter recordings in this morning's Wall Street Journal, so that's what made me think of it. I'll probably go buy the CD's of Half-Blood Prince when they come out, too. Because I can't read.

Also, O'Connor has retired. And so it begins.

Bizarre and Wonderful Law Rap

First, a taste:
I put you punk-ass bitches in crisis--
I'm unprecedented; fuck stare decisis

All this found in a sprawling comments thread over at Unfogged. Many thanks to Scheherazade at Stay of Execution for the link.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Atheist Camp

This sort of thing sounds like a terrible idea. Even as a non-believer myself, I'd never send kinds of mine to such a place - what do people like us need to get all worked up about our kids' faith (or lack thereof) for? I don't know about the Maledictorian , but I did just fine at regular summer camp. Over the years I went to ranch camp, sailing camp, even a week one summer at YMCA surf camp, and the man upstairs never came up. Apparently, all the C in YMCA stands for is "no swearing."

In the end, I didn't need to have dinner surrounded by portraits of notable atheists, and I suspect I would not have taken kindly to Bertrand Russell staring me down as I ate overcooked spaghetti. God is the ultimate authority figure and we won't banish Him by indoctrinating children. Heck, sent to this camp I might have come out a believer, if only out of spite. Instead, my spiritual outlook developed under a kind of benign neglect. It seems to me that if it's terribly important to teach one's children that it's okay not to believe in God the way to do it is to show them how a life lived with any mention of the divine simply omitted works just fine.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Botox in my Milk

Crooked Timber links to an article in The Chronicle about a paper describing how terrorists could kill thousands of people with an attack on the nation's milk supply. My friends that took terrorism and national security classes at Stanford all told me about the exact same scenario, so I guess it's a good idea to publicize it more widely. Doing so certainly isn't providing the terrorists with a road map they couldn't find otherwise.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Genius

Perhaps we can kill two birds with one stone by floating a rumor that Taiwan is acquiring nuclear weapons from North Korea . . . .

-Instapundit

I Hits the Links

I played my first game of golf this afternoon, at a short course near my house that has cheap greens fees after 5. I was thoroughly awful, but I was hitting switch (for those paying attention, this means I shot right-handed. Played with four friends and someone's dad, who was impressed that I was keeping up. "So if you're playing almost as good as us hitting right-handed, you must be pretty good, huh?" he asked. Ha! If only he knew.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Stankowski Reports

A first-year associate provides periodic updates on his life at the firm. My favorite quote:
However, contrary to the old saying, when you ask me if I have finished that 20 page brief that you assigned me ten minutes ago, and I say (in my most nonchalant of voices) "Well, no," and then you yell at me and curse a lot, I am not really "being cut down to size." This is easily demonstrated when I stand up to follow you down the hall as you continue to yell. I am still much taller than you. Also, it is not an insult to tell me that I am "lazier than a bean-picking Mexican." I have seen Mexicans pick beans. They work really hard.

Optimism

This Madisonian Theory blog and its recommendations for incoming students has me felling pretty good right now. Tip 1: get fit. Couldn't be happier to see that advice. Tip 2:read Cryptonomicon, "or even the whole Baroque Cycle." Check. Tip 3: Read Gödel, Escher, Bach. Check. My whole UGrad major was about that stuff.

Am feeling psyched, and even more confident about my decision to scorn The Paper Chase, 1L, and related media.

Also: why doesn't Blogger's spell check recognize the word "blog?"

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Batman

I saw Batman Begins on Saturday in Santa Cruz on my way back down to SD, asnd I really liked it. Yes, I too noticed the curious problem with the microwave generator that people are talking about. For what it's worth, my Scottie-must-have-been-addled-by-his-time-in suspended-animation continuity hack is that the microwaves must only have made water boil becuase it was in metal pipes, under pressure. If you've ever tried to reheat food that came in a foil wrapping, you'll know your microwave doesn't like metal. Lucky for me, I am ignorant of just enough physics to be happy with this explanation.

Of course, it doesn't answer other questions raised by the we've-been-adding-the-airborne-hallucinogen-to-the-water-for-weeks scenario, like why people in Gothan weren't tripping balls every time they took a hot shower or made spagetti, but I'll let that slide too. Batman is a ninja. With those cool spiky armband thingies. Cool.

Spam

The signal-to-noise ration on my email has plummeted since graduation. When I was getting 10+ emails a day that I would need/want to read, I never really noticed how often I tapped the delete key to get to them. Now that school's out and I receive practically no mail, it sure seems like there's a lot more spam. At least my old school account will die soon. Planned obsolescence, baby.

Reply to Jobs

Paul Andrws, a columnist for the Seattle Times, replies to Jobs' address (which, in fairness, he calls "a moving life statement," adds a tongue-in-cheek fourth story to Jobs' commencement address. It begins:
There's a fourth story about me that I decided to omit from this talk. It has to do with the many people in my life whom I've cheated, abused and otherwise screwed on my rise to fame and riches.

As they say, read the whole thing.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Neal Stephenson Agrees With Me

about Star Wars:
Likewise, many have been underwhelmed by the performance of Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. Only if you've seen the "Clone Wars" cartoons will you understand that Anakin is a seriously damaged veteran, a poster child for post-traumatic stress disorder. But since none of that background is actually supplied by the Episode III script, Mr. Christensen has been given an impossible acting task. He's trying to swim in air.

In sum, very little of the new film makes sense, taken as a freestanding narrative. What's interesting about this is how little it matters.

From a piece he wrote for the New York Times.

Steve Jobs: You're All Gonna Die!

Yes, he actually did say that at commissioning, but it wasn't completely morbid. Jobs told three stories about his own life, stories that I'll agree with the media in calling "surprisingly candid." It was not at all what I expected from a media-darling celebrity captain of industry. His anecdotes look like unusual choices for a graduation ceremony: dropping out of college, being fired from his own company, being diagnosed with terminal cancer. But once you got past that the message was damn good: you can't see how the future will play out, so stick with your instincts, and don't worry about connecting the dots until after the fact.

Jobs' ruminations on mortality rubbed some of my fellow graduates the wrong way, but I thought the message came through. Of course, literally living every day as if it were your last isn't such a great plan, but living every day mindful of your limited time here is a darn good idea. Maybe we need all that death talk to shake us out of adolescent complacency.

The complete text can be found here.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

The Study of Seduction

Just got a link off LSD to a new blog, Legal Seduction. It's by an incoming 1L who's decided to take a systematic approach to improving his game. As one who habitually muddles through both dating and life in general, I find this kind of thing incredibly interesting. I'm putting a link up under Law Students, but maybe we should tentatively pencil it in under Awesomeness.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Home At Last

Back from a post-graduation mini-vacation. Much to say. Only just got wireless up and running, using my AirPort express to bridge the signal to a linksys wireless router. Apple said it couldn't be done. Well it can. It's just very, very slow.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

David Kennedy on America's "Mercenary Army"

Professor Kennedy, about whom I've blogged before, was the faculty speaker at the Senior Luncheon today. Excellent choice. He talked about graduating in general, and the real world vs. the academic world in a very engaging way, and everyone was smiling and laughing.

His main point, or his main serious point, that he eventually came around to is that he's concerned that America today has a "mercenary army." He was careful to distinguish between the character of the men and women in uniform, "these are not the hated Hessians that George III hired," and what actually concerned him, the amount of civic participation involved in deploying the armed forces. In short, he's worried that the unprecedented power and lethality of the American armed forces can be deployed without burdening or even inconveniencing the general American public. He spoke about how citizenship used to be partially defined in terms of an obligation to defend the population, but that most people never feel this obligation, and that makes us insufficiently involved in where great violence can be inflicted in our names by a professional military. Like any other speech in the circumstances, it ended with a call for the graduating seniors to go out and change the world, take on civic responsibility, and so on, but it was an interesting and unexpected twist to hear a humanities professor at a bastion of liberal thought say, in effect, "Go join the army. It's your duty."

Now on one hand it's tempting to dismiss Kennedy's comparisons to World War II America, where we were involved in a total war against vicious ideologies supported by powerful industrial nations. Today's vicious ideologies are, thankfully, far less well endowed and equipped than Nazism, fascism, and Soviet communism. Islamic totalitarianism doesn't pose an existential threat to America, and maybe it's okay for a minority to really worry about the fight, when that fight has to do with making sure that a fairly limited set of Very Bad Things don't happen. Maybe these concerns would evaporate in the face of an enemy that demanded full mobilization. But assuming that Kennedy is on to something, and that it's problematic for most people to barely feel the costs of military action, how could that be fixed?

For all the talk of the dignity of the citizen-soldier, from a policy perspective it's hard to argue with results. If a professional, all-volunteer force fights better, it looks like lunacy to advocate compulsory service for domestic policy reasons. The first responsibility of armies is to win. And looking forward towards increasing use of automation, it actually looks like the human costs of war will be borne by ever-fewer living, breathing, and voting Americans.

In what other ways, then, could costs be shared? Have military expenditures earmarked on everyone's taxes? Require everyone to serve a limited term in support roles? I'm worried that if this is actually a problem, potential solutions aren't very apparent.

Update: Welocme Mudville readers. You can find a full transcript of Kenndey's remarks that day here. There are still valid criticisms of the column: it's not a good idea to change the structure of the military to achieve social goals, and as some have pointed out, an all-volunteer force can be a check on adventurism (Marginal Revolution makes that point here). But the hysterical "he's a crazy leftist who hates America" criticisms splashed all over the place don't look to me like they hold water.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Ouch

I'm a really terrible boxer when I'm drunk.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Graduating: Time Doesn't Always Fly

Everyone always says that college just whips by, and after four years you'll be left wondering where all the time went. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I don't feel that way. I feel like I can look back on my four years of undergrad and say that I've done good work here; I've lived well. My undergraduate experience seems full, complete. It brings me great satisfaction to be able to say that.

I hope that I can keep this up, so that when I'm old I can feel this way about the rest of my life too, and not just college. I think I need to make mysleft something to that effect to hang on my wall.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Star Wars Marathon, Blink

So we were originally scheduled to have a big Star Wars mega-marathon today, watching all six episodes "back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back," as Colin's email had it. But we didn't get started until after 10:30, so after Episode 2 we wouldn't make the 3:00 showing of 3, and we couldn't go to the 5:00 show or we'd miss dinner, so now we have to wait until 7. Which means that so far today all I've done is watched the first two movies, which I though were horrible. An interesting thing happened though: I enjoyed them a lot more this time around. I sat through The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones back to back, and was happy and entertained the whole time.

I have a couple of theories about why this might be. First, I understand the Byzantine plot beforehand, and can pay more attention to the little clues about what's going on, and less trying to figure out who the hell is on what side. If nothing else, this makes the battles more enjoyable. It certainly makes some of the more strained conversations believable when you understand what the characters are getting at.

What really surprised me, though, was that those god-awful love scenes didn't look so bad anymore. I think that this is because I stopped holding Padme and Anakin to regular standards of human behavior. Hayden Christensen's lines still set my teeth on edge, but it seems like they should. He's playing an adolescent ex-slave warrior space monk prodigy. That kind of thing would certainly have had me saying some weird shit at seventeen. After Revenge of the Sith, you don't just know in some abstract way that this kid with the funny haircut is supposed to become Darth Vader, you've seen it from the inside. You understand it. It's his destiny man, in a very literal cinematic way, and you expect him to act funny.

I've heard that Lucas intended to create a new myth for our time, and on reflection the movies do a lot better considered in that light. Think about the Odyssey, for example. The little jaunt to the island of the lotus-eaters would be pretty crap as a stand-alone story; it's much better in the context of the entire narrative. Ditto for Star Wars. I feel like, as with any good myth, we're supposed to know the basics of the story ahead of time. They're supposed to be just understood as part of the culture. Well, as a full-bore geek, Star Wars is certainly part of my culture, and I've found that once you've got the whole thing in there, each individual movie is actually a pretty good "telling" (what in Linguistics we'd call a "token") of that part of the larger myth.

Anyway, while we wait for dinner I've been reading Blink, at a rate of about a hundred pages an hour. A lot of it is stuff I've heard before, either in descriptions of the book or in CogSci classes, and I've read enough synopses that by this time the whole "thin-slicing" idea doesn't even seem all that weird. What I really want, is to hear some music by this Kenna character.

So You CAN Play Water Polo In Boston

One of my best friends from high school played polo for MIT, and will be staying in the Boston area next year. Turns out there are club teams one can join, so I can keep playing back East. I'm so happy I could fart.

RSS Feed Bag

I just downloaded the NetNewsWire RSS feeder and started playing around with it. It's pretty cool, though I'm not sure if the formatting is ideal. I like browsing from one blog post right down to another, without popping each one open at the subject line. But it'll be good for keeping track of who's posted, at least.

Go Play Jade Empire

That's an order. I love this game.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I'm Poor

Between traveling this month, a nasty speeding ticket, and my housing deposit, I seem to have run completely out of money. I have here my VIsa bill and chscking account statement, and one of them is distressingly larger than the other. My roommates all joke that we should just go donate at the California Cryobank. Their ad in the daily says they'll pay you $600 a month, and as Big Nilla says, "Dude, out of everybody on this earth, I would want your sperm."

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Running, Drowning, Dancing

Back in high school, a friend of mine from the swimming and water polo teams used to joke that there were only thee kinds of sports. Running sports, mainly track, cross country, and soccer, centered around running. Then you had your falling sports, like diving, skiing, and snowboarding. Finally, there were drowning sports: swimming, water polo, and boating. One could infer from this taxonomy, he argued, that we all would rather drown than run. This was meant to be amusing for its hyperbole, but in my case it's actually not all that far from the truth.

Anyway, I'd rather run than dance.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Edge Cities

I just found Joel Garreau's Edge Cities online, apparently the complete text. I can't stop reading it; he's talking about my home.

True Friendship

Went to see Star Wars, and wound up driving three freshman guys down to the theater. One of them, let's call him Andy, plays in the band, and had to come directly from a rally. This meant he was dressed in bright orange and yellow boardshorts, a plastic cowbow hat, and a shiny black-and-silver zebra-striped top that would have been skintight on a man two sizes smaller. His friend, who I'll call Mark, knew that Andy wouldn't have time to change, and decided to don a ard hat, work boots, and orange constuction vest, just so Andy wouldn't be the only one dressed weird. That kind of thing brings a tear to my eye, you know?

When anyone at the theater asked what they were dressed up for, both would answer simultaneously. "Star Wars."

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

My Roommate's Name Stolen!

By Chris O'Donnel on this Fox show this fall. Ha-ha.

Smog Check

I can't just head down to the corner gas station to get a smog check done, because I drive an old car and two years ago I failed the test so spectacularly that my ride was labeled a Gross Polluting Vehicle. It's been fixed, but I'm still on a sort of smog probation, and I have to get my testing done at a special test-only station. Tracking one of these down was an enormous hassle, but I eventually found Jorge's Smog Shop. Jorge was helpful and friendly, and had me on my way minutes, and I'd certainly go back next year if I was still going to be in the area.

As I pulled out, I reflected on this. The point of test-only centers, as announced by signs proudly posted all over Jorge's shop, is that California drivers can do to one confident that unethical merchants won't make them fail the state-mandated tests in order to drum up more repair business. Test-only shops are forbidden by law do repairs or even recommend a repair shop. So far, so good. I was had just thinking about how solicitous customer service would make me a repeat customer twelve months down the line, so I immedaitely sthought of what else would bring someone like me back. Doesn't that give Jorge pervesre (from the regualtors' perspective) incentive to be especially lenient, so that customers with smoke-belching wrecks will keep coming back year after year? What keeps a test-only smog station from just rubber-stamping everyone that drives through? Are there spot inspections? Statistical tools?

Anyway, I'm just happy to see that I passed.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Post Secret

I can't imagine that you're at this site without havinbg seen this already, but there you go. It's wonderful. I think I'll add a link.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Wow. Scary Accurate.





You Are 22 Years Old



22





Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.


Monday, May 02, 2005

Road Trip!

Going to Vegas fro three days, because it seemed like a good idea yesterday afternoon. First: visit Drake's and Budweiser breweries, Jelly Belly Factory on the way.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Links!

From Kazu and beyond, check out the stuff by Chris Harding and the boys over at Ghostbot.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Semiotic Confusion

One of those piss-people-off-woth-your-political-speech companies is selling this shirt, as advertized on Instapundit:

The message, I suppose, is: "The ACLU is an enemy of the state. They are bad. REal bad. Like, commie bad." The reasoning behind this is pretty simplistic, too. ACLU is enemy of the state, leftist. Commies also leftist enemies. Ergo, ACLU = commies!

Maybe I don't get it, but that doesn't seem like a very cutting criticism. I mean, the whole point of a civil liberties group is to work against state power. You say to them, "but you work against the government!" and they'll reply, "Well, yeah. Duh." And here's where the whole Soviet thing breaks down. The whole problem with the USSR was that it had way too much state control over its citizens' lives. I mean, if you were an enemy of the Soviet state, that made you one of the good guys. "ACLU = Solzhenitsyn" is pretty bad, as attacks go.

UPDATE: img tag fixed

Thursday, April 28, 2005

A Libertarian Paradox

Right now Congress is investigating steroid use in the NFL. I suspect that it is rampant and widespread, I know that I don't care, and I think that shouldn't be any of Congress' business. On the one hand, I shoud be upset with all the over-reaching and moral posturing (especially since, you know, there's a war on). On the other, I should be elated that Congress is for the moment amusing itself with something trivial and can't cause any real damage.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

From the Department of No Sympathy

Jeremy Blachman went to Harvard for three years but doesn't actually know any law. On the upside, he does have a book deal.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Ghost of Law School Yet to Come?

Shit man. Am I really going to be People You Meet at Law School #7: The Frat Boy? One positive indicator: am not pretty, fat.

I Love Marginal Revolution, part 2

They point me towards this NYT article about the relative complexity of television narrative structures over time. As a longtime fan of "24", "Alias," and "The West Wing," this is really cool stuff.

MR adds visuals and pulls out the graf that cross-cuts the culture wars like a seasoned potato:
Instead of a show's violent or tawdry content, instead of wardrobe malfunctions or the F-word, the true test should be whether a given show engages or sedates the mind. Is it a single thread strung together with predictable punch lines every 30 seconds? Or does it map a complex social network? Is your on-screen character running around shooting everything in sight, or is she trying to solve problems and manage resources? If your kids want to watch reality TV, encourage them to watch ''Survivor'' over ''Fear Factor.'' If they want to watch a mystery show, encourage ''24'' over ''Law and Order.'' If they want to play a violent game, encourage Grand Theft Auto over Quake.


Finally, salt to taste with cheeky intergenerational warfare:
Ever notice that old tv shows and movies are boring? Why should this be? Were people more easily entertained thirty years ago? Were they dumber? Why yes, they were.

Delicious!

Monday, April 25, 2005

The Straight Dope on SymSys

I just got off the phone with an admitted student choosing between Stanford and Brown who wanted the inside story on what the Symbolic Systems program is like. I told her the program was just about perfect for me, because it gives you so many different perspectives on the kind of questions I think are interesting: what is meaning and how might it work, or what makes something a mind? Intellectually, this is fantastically exciting stuff.

It was funny how poorly the metrics she was asking about tracked my preferences. She was worried about classes being large, impersonal lectures, which I love if the professor is a good speaker. Some of my favorite classes have been big lectures, because they were taught by people like John Perry or Eric Roberts. Can you go get to to know the professor during office hours? Certainly, but for some reason once you're there it doesn't seem all that important.

Finally, she asked what I thought of Brown, to try to get a feel for its reputation. You know, like on the streets. I danced around the point, carefully avoiding using the word "nonserious." She'd said word on the street back East was that Stanford kids weren't all that intellectual outside of class. That's about right, too. I had no idea cross-country rumors could be so accurate. More disturbing, though, was the idea that there are places where college kids actually DO sit around having midnight discussion about Aristotle. Does nobody think of the children?

The Night Watch

James was supposed to come back from Russia last night, so the Prank crew stayed over at his place so that we could capture his raetion on video. We stayed up all night drinking beer and watching Old School, but he never showed. Now, I am very sleepy.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Returning

Just got back. Spent the evening in the company of a charming, attractive woman, but we parted ways without incident and, it seemed, with a feeling of mutual disappointment about that. Instead, walked home in the rain for twenty minutes. I know I'm old school, but aren't I taking that a bit far?

Friday, April 22, 2005

Anti-Humor

I think that this is some of the funniest stuff ever written. This is probably because I am a bad person.

A man walks past a bar and sees a sign which says "PERFORM THE THREE FEATS AND WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!" Thinking that a million dollars sounds like a great idea, he goes inside and asks the bartender what the deal is.

"First," says the bartender, "you have to chug this entire bottle of vodka. Second, there's a crocodile in the back room with a bad tooth. You have to pull it. Third, there's an eighty-five year old woman in the back who's never had sex. You have to have sex with her."

The guy think it over and says "okay, sure. You have a deal!" He grabs the bottle of vodka and, with little effort due to the fact that he's basically a professional alcoholic anyway, downs it. Then he slams the empty bottle down and goes into the back room. There's a lot of screaming, some growling, and various crashing sounds. Finally a silence falls upon the bar. Minutes pass, then an hour. Finally the bartender sends a barmaid back to see what's going on. A few minutes later, she comes back out.

"What's he doing?" asks the bartender.

"What's left of him is back there in the croc pen," she says, her horrified face pale with shock. "His clothes are tossed in the corner. I think he tried to fuck the croc. The croc...the croc ate him."

"Oh, Jesus," whispers the bartender. "Jesus."

Nobody says a word.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

How Many Guatamalans Could You Fit in the Trunk of a Cadillac?

Just saw a Daily Show episode about the controversial maid service at Harvard. Hilarious. Dennis Miller was the guest, and he was on fire too. You can see both clips at the DS site if you act soon, although in my experience they're always a bit choppy.

Also, this just in: Guinness is Delicious.

Rush Editorial

Today the Daily ran an editorial criticizing the Rush process at Stanford. Specifically, they think it takes too long, making unreasonable demands on rushees' time. This is all kinds of wrong. First of all, Greek organizations are subject to collective responsibility - if one of our member screws up, we can all get in trouble. It takes a while to find out whether someone can be trusted with membership in that environment. But more broadly, Rush is (a) not all that much time (at least for the rushees; the real time burden is setting that stuff up), and (b) a lot of fun. I went out every night freshman year, just because there was free food and fun stuff to do.

Edit: Man, I just cannot spell "responsibility" to save my life!

Update: The Daily publishes my letter in response.

Non Grata

Edit: Man, Blogger was tripping balls this afternoon.

Non Grata

Inspired by today's comic over at Control Alt Delete, I rolled down to the library to pick up a copy of A Game of Thrones. Erem loves the series, and has been trying to get me to read it all year. But when I got to the library, I was informed that I no longer had the privilege of using its facilities. It turns out that if you aren't registered and taking classes, you have to pay a special fee to check out books. Freeloading slackers like me are emphatically Not Welcome. It was cheaper just to buy them from Amazon, which is what I wound up doing. Every time I go there, I'm struck by how cool their book recommendation algorithm is.

Luckily, the trip wasn't a total waste, because skateboarding is a uniquely enjoyable means of conveyance.

On the subject of total wastes, the rest of the day will be devoted to the Prank.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Paul Bremer Talk

Went to go see Ambassador Bremer speak yesterday about the occupation and reconstruction in Iraq. He didn't say all that much that was news to me; it seemed like a very political speech and he stuck to his talking points pretty closely. The Daily story I've linked to above is a pretty accurate account. Someone did manage to get him to talk about the decision to disband the Iraqi army, though. His perspective was that at the war's end there were no organized units even remaining. The army was composed of a (bloated, with 12,000 generals) Baathist officer corps who we naturally didn't want, and around 350,000 Shia conscripts who deserted in droves throughout the course of the war. Re-constituting the army, he argues, would have meant enforcing Saddam's discriminatory conscription regime, not the best PR move, to say the least.

It was disappointing that several students took Bremer as a proxy for the administration and took up Q&A time trying to score points with snarling questions about the justification for the war. As I see it, Bremer was sent there to do a specific job, reconstruction, that had to be done whether or not the war was a good idea in the first place. I would have liked to hear more about that. Also, they said "only two more questions" when my buddy Erem was third in line. He was going to ask whether looking forwards, humanitarian concerns by themselves could be sufficient grounds for war (this would be a precedent Erem and I both support). Bremer would probably have given the same "there's no cookie-cutter response to these situations that you can apply in every case" answer he used a couple of other times, but we might have gotten a real answer if the question lacked the traditional accusatory tone. Oh well.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Busy Day

Wake up for water polo at eleven. Lunch. Sleep on the air mattress until it's deflated (it has a small hole somewhere). Be at James' by three to begin work on the Prank, IM soccer practice at five. Dinner, trivia night at the Rose and Crown, back for IM volleyball at eleven. Midnight lifting session.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Camping

Went on two camping trips this weekend, to Half Moon Bay and up to Tilden Park. It seems like camping is just a big excuse to go somewhere and play with fire all weekend. This is awesome.

Was back in town for about three hours on Saturday, just enough time to clean up and meet the family for lunch. My mom brought me copy of Freakonomics, which demonstrates remarkable awareness of my tastes. I wonder, does she read this thing?

Friday, April 15, 2005

Review Redeemed

A back page guide to what the Review considers the best eight courses taught this spring calls my buddy Brandon Burr a "dynamic, entertaining, and knowledgeable" lecturer. And at this scale, personal > political.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

More Hard-Hitting Reporting from the Review

The Stanford Review the campus conservative publication really outdo themselves this issue, taking on IHUM, the University's mandatory humanities series. This is like elementary school kids editorialiszing about homework, or protesting short recess periods. And yet, even having decided on such a softball of an assignment, the staff stands around and watches the pitch sail by. They don't like IHUM because it doesn't introduce students to the intellectual foundations of Western thought and culture. To a certain extent, I agree; I think a lot of students leave Stanford without any sense of where the West is coming from. Which only makes it more frsutrating when the authors fail to make even the most cursory arguments for why it's important for students to understand that tradition. There's the line between inspiring debate and mere agit-prop, and the Review, as usual, falls far behind it.

As a libertarian/independent, I've long had beef with the Review simply because of the enormous opportunity cost. Stanford's only going to get one conservative voice, and it's depressing to see it filled month after month with the same sophomoric drivel.

A Righteous Dubbing

My roommate shall henceforth be know as Big 'Nilla, after the ice cream sandwich brand. Details omitted to protect the guilty.

Bonding

Last night a rushee told me he'd been flipping through the profiles on the SigEp group on the facebook, and he'd remembered me because I'd listed my political orientation as "Libertarian." And just like that, we were co-conspirators.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Google Maps

I am here.

MTV Comes to Rush

So an MTV producer and camera crew show up at our rush event tonight. We're in the middle fo doing boat races with potstickers, which is fun but not exactly compelling television. We have this conversation:

Producer: Where can we find like a crazy frat party?
SigEp: Well, this is Rush, so all fraternity events are dry.
P: So no parties?
S: Not for two weeks.

Apparently they're making some project about social life at elite colleges that they want to show to high school kids. In the end we sent them off to pub night, where there should have been debauchery aplenty. It's too bad they didn't show up Tuesday, when Sigma Nu was holding their "throw stuff off our third floor balcony" event.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Springtime

Lawprof bloggers are excited about spring, with its warm weather and student elections. Me, I spend all afternoon napping out in the sun on our air mattress. Am now sunburned.

Regarding student elections, I started a facebook group called "Don't Vote, it Only Encourages Them." I invited a few of my friends, and then in a fit of ambition, everyone named David at the school. After that I got bored, which seesm fitting. Here's our logo, which I stole from somewhere. It should resonate well with current and former Stanford students alike.

Monday, April 04, 2005

I Acquire a Suffix

Today on Axess:
Program Status: Complete

Degree Checkout Status: Awarded:  Your degree has been officially conferred.

Booyah.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Culture of Life

From Andrew Sullivan:
Bush himself, who said last week that "it is wise to always err on the side of life," didn't seem so concerned when he signed countless death warrants as governor of Texas, with the most cursory of legal reviews. He also signed a Texas law that gave surviving next of kin complete discretion to remove life-support from a terminally ill patient in the absence of a living will. Last week, an eight-year-old boy died after his tube was removed in Texas because his parents could no longer afford treatment, but the religious right seemed uninterested. As commander in chief, Bush has presided over the criminal homicides of 26 inmates in U.S. military care, after removing by executive memo the usual bans on cruel and inhumane treatment of prisoners. Culture of life?

Ouch.

More Bloodblogging

Just got back from my second double red cell donation, which was full of all kinds of new bells and whistles. Before we even started I got a red rubber wristband. I was overseas (and watching the Tour de France on TV) while the wristband craze began, matured, and metastasized stateside, so this was like getting a fragment of culture that had been lost in the mail, only delivered moths later. They used a new machine, one that sat up at abound head height so I could listen to the strangely soothing hum of the centrifuge and watch bags fill up with dark red fluid and think, "Hey! That's mine!" For those unfamiliar with the procedure, a double red cell donation involves taking double the normal whole donation out, separating the red blood cells, and pumping half of the remaining juice back in. This means there are alternating cycles were you can watch the ruby-colored rope coming out of your elbow pinken and eventually go to clear as outgoing blood is replaced by incoming saline. The coolest part is that the saline is room temperature; about twenty degrees colder than body temp. You can feel the difference up your arm and into your heart, and there's something thrilling about feeling cold in the deep plumbing of your body.

I impulse-bought a copy of Lessig's Free Culture in the bookstore a few days ago, so I brought it with me and read a few chapters. I'll post about that a bit more when I've had some time to digest it. Lessig was actually one of three speakers at a talk on IP and open source my roommate went to today wile I was donating, and maybe I can relay some comment from him.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

On Realism

Today on World of Warcraft:

Random Player: "I'm playing this now because Halo 2 sucks"
Me: "Aw, c'mon. That's a fun game too."
RP: "I liked Fallout 2 more. It was more realistic."
Me: "fun > realism"
RP: "no, realistic games are better because because blah blah blah blah blah."
Me: "Right now, I'm playing as a magic troll."

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Confusion Sells Breakfast Sandwiches

Have you seen the McDonalds commercial where the girl eats that guy's food while explaining how girlfriends are like McGriddle Breakfast Sandwiches? I do not understand this commercial. She may be listing the desireable properties of a good woman, as embodied in a McGriddle Breakfast Sandwich, in order to call male lead's attention to those same qualities in herself. Establishing shot of her reaching across the table supports this hypothesis, as does her evident frustration when he doesn't get it. On the other hand, she could be merely pretending to offer useful advice, as a pretext for eating this poor man's sandwich. This would emphasize the desireablility of the food, by showing how one is willing to manipulate one's friends when they are most emotionally vulnerable in order to obtain a McGriddle Breakfast Sandwich. It would also explain why afterward she continues her gastronomic imperialism, siezing male lead's coffee when the first similie leaves him bewildered. And besides, it's hard to imagine that the best way to position yourself as the rebound gal is to eat a vat-fried breakfast entree right in fron of him while talking. I mean, she polishes off that whole thing (off camera) in about fifteen seconds, without pausing for breath. You can just imagine great saliva-infused gobs of greasy, syrupy eggs and biscuit being ground up before male lead's eyes. Sexy, that.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Daniel Waterhouse

"Listen to me. I did not wish to be summoned by your Princess. Summoned, I did not wish to come. But having been summoned, and having come, I mean to give a good account of myself. That's how I was taught by my father, and the men of his age who slew Kings and swept away not merely Governments but whole Systems of Thought, like Khans of the Mind. I would have my son in Boston know of my doings, and be proud of them, and carry my ways forward to another generation on another continent. Any opponent who does not know this about me, stands at a grave disadvantage; a disadvantage I am not above profiting from."

From System of the World, pp 376.

Test Prep Mercenary

Got back from teaching my first LSAT class. I thought it went well, but now my hands are all covered in whiteboard pen. Out damned spot!

Also, I got back my grades for last quarter. My intro to neuroscience grade is based entirely on a fourteen page paper that I "researched" and wrote in one marathon session, as described below. I start out talking about brain scans of Buddhist monks, but it quickly becomes a paranoid rant about the Dalai Lama's secret plan to convert you to Buddhism without you even knowing it! This was the single worst piece of writing I have produced since I learned to reproduce alphabetic characters. I was seriously concerned that I would fail. But no. A-. I have no idea how that happened, but I won't complain. Having managed not to fail, I am now free to enjoy my six-month spring break.

X-Box Live is Awesome

Set it up last night. Played most of today. It's a ton of fun, but our teamwork needs improvement.

A: "Oh shit guys they're over here?"
B: "Where is that?"
A: "HERE!"
B: "Dude, we can't see you. Where are they?"
* bang! *
A: "Damn, now I'm dead."
* bang! *
B: "Yeah, me too."

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Closure

Stanford finally deigned to give me notice of my rejection. Sure took them long enough.

The Return From Harvard

So I fly JetBlue back from Boston, so I finally see what all the fuss is about. It was pretty nice. TV makes the flight seem a lot shorter than it is. Roger Fisher gave me a copy of Getting to Yes at lunch, so I read that for a bit on the plane, but then I found the West Wing marathon on Bravo. Older episodes, meaning they were good ones. At any rate, Washington certainly doesn't look like Hollywood for ugly people on TV. Never mind Rob Lowe's Sam, whose job description at the White House must be, "look pretty, bitchwork." Amy Gardner is hot. Smart, confident, knows what she wants and how to play hardball to get it. As Short Skirt/Long Jacket as you can get in the public sector.

More substantively, some of the speeches and dialog make you wonder how the country would have reacted if there had been a President Bartlett on 9/11 who promptly launched a Global War on Terror™. Sometimes I feel like everyone's positions on whether it would be good would be the inverse of what they are now, just because a Democrat and not a Republican would be in charge of the thing. I wonder if Sorkin could write about an idealistic, charismatic, and good-looking (naturally) Republican administration. Showing a staffer conflicted when they personally disagree with a piece of policy that doesn't quite fit their ideals is a recurring plot device; it would be interesting to see what those conflicts would be in a "do-gooder" GOP White House. I'd watch that. I bet other people would too. I mean, the person next to me was watching McCauley Caulkin and Ricky Lake play poker. There's an audience for anything.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Breakfast

It is now shortly past eight. I have just returned from eating breakfast in the club, the first time I have done so all year. Normally I sleep through breakfast. So why am I up early today? I'm not. I'm still up late from last night. Now I just have to crank out a page and a half more essay quickly, so I have enough time to sleep before the basketball game comes on.

Also, breakfast is delicious. I should stay up this late more often.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Thirteen Pages to Go

Whoever scheduled finals week during the Tournament is an evil, evil person.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Three Stories

Continuning with finalsboging. The last question on my take-home Intro to Semantics final asks us to describe contexts in which the sentence "You will be home by midnight" could play three different conversational roles: a prediction, a command, and a promise. A few hours after the final went out, an FAQ email explained:
Q: For question 3(a), is it enough context to say "Sentence (1) could be uttered in response to to perform a commissive speech act" or do we need to provide a full scenario?
A. You need to provide a full enough scenario. If your to which an utterance of sentence (1) responds provides a full enough scenario, that's all you need. Otherwise, spill a little more ink.

It always bugs me to get this do-however-much-you-need non-answer. And as you may recall, I respond to disagreeable prompts in unpredictable ways. Spill some ink, eh? I could have some fun with that. It was time to do something silly. The responses I wrote follow.
Prediction:
Ben squinted at the map and took a long, bubbling pull at the dregs of his root beer. Neglected, his double-double began to slowly congeal beside him. He began to speak. “What I don’t understand, dude,” he carefully began, “is how you managed to get this far off course. I mean, we’re in Westwood. Why didn’t you just stay on the five?” The stranger merely shrugged and grunted something about a gas station. Ben shook his head. “So, San Diego, huh?” Grunt. Ben began again. “Well just take a right out of the parking lot, and then left at the third light. Take that all the way until you see the onramp. Just be sure to get on the southbound this time man.” Another grunt. “How long? Well it’s what, quarter past? Yeah. You will be home by midnight.”

Command:
Anyone could make his voice carry an edge. When he wanted to, Jack could make his carry a claymore. He reached out and laid a pawlike hand on his daughter’s shoulder, his muscles slithering into terrible new geometries with tectonic menace. He knew he had to do this. Nicole had been looking forward to the dance for weeks. Months maybe. Christ. He shot a quick sideways glance at the skinny kid. Forgot his name already. Standing there in a rented tux, hair dyed blond at the tips. Clip-on bow tie. Punk. Jack was pleased to see he was sweating. He gently squeezed Nicole. Look her in the eye. His voice began with the low rumble of distant thunder, quietly, but with the silent strength of mountains. Still just loud enough for skinny to hear. “You will be home by midnight.”

Promise:
Ashley ran. She knew if she stopped, if she let herself cast one backward look or even allowed one thought to reach back and touch him… Don’t think about him. That would be the end of it, because once you think about him you’ll stop and turn around and go back and throw away everything that is or could be just to spend a few more minutes with him. And for every second you were there, you’d swear it was worth it. But fairy magic was cruel. Ashley couldn’t stop, couldn’t look, couldn’t think. So she ran. She sprinted past the valet, bare feet now splashing through puddles in the street. She’d left the slippers, abandoned them. Had to run. The driver was ahead, holding the door. Ashley dove in, and before she could say a word he was up front and behind the wheel, looking like he’d always been there. Seatbelt fastened. They were bastards, but you had to admit they had style. The engine let out a circus lion roar, protesting its controlled ferocity. “Don’t worry miss,” he said with a fey twinkle in his eye. “You will be home by midnight.”

I think the second one turned out best. Who esle gets to say, "muscles slithered into terrible new geometries with tectonic menace" or "with the silent strength of mountains" on a formal linguistics final? In the end, though the third was more fun to write. As soon as I realized I'd be making "You'll be home by midnight" into a promise, I knew it had to be a Cinderella story. I'm definitely doing way too much in that passage - dropping hints that this is a retelling fo the fairy tale while I'm busy trying to re-imagine it, and trying to maintain some manic tension throughout the exposition. It never would have worked. But it was great.

Monday, March 14, 2005

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love J. David Velleman

I am currently writing my term paper for Philosophy of Action, a paper due in 16 hours. Only four pages to go, so I should finish on time even given my usual exponential decay of productivity. Anyway, at first I was very suspicious of Velleman's account of agency and action, saying that the constitutive aims for belief and action at the center of that theory "felt like a giant hack." I'd like to think I've changed my mind because I have come to more fully appreciate the logical force of his arguments, but it could very well be that I've just been seduced by passages like this one:
One further drawback [of conventional Davidsonian accounts of make-believe] is that the desire-belief explanation fails to account for children's ability to invent and to understand novel ways of pretending. An especially imaginative child may come up with his own way of pretending to be an elephant, but not by considering which behaviors would be most suitable to an elephant-act, as if he were an impressionist honing some zoological schtick. Rather, the child's method is to imagine being an elephant - weighing a ton, walking on stumpy legs, carrying floppy ears - and then to wait and see how he is disposed to behave.

The image of a child trying, Method-style, to put himself in the mindset of an elephant, and then waiting to see how he is disposed to behave - that's something straight out of Calvin and Hobbes. And that phrase in the middle! "as if he were an impressionist honing some zoological schtick," ah, to write like that! Velleman continues:
Similarly, this child's playmates do not appreciate his inventions by recognizing that they are especially similar to the behavior of real elephants, and hence good choices for an aspiring elephant-impersonator. On the contrary, success at pretending to be an elephant need not involve behavior that is really elephant-like at all. What it requires is rather behavior that's expressive of elephant-mindedness - expressive, that is, of vividly imagining that one is an elephant.

All this and more in the essay On the Aim of Belief, page 257 of The Possibility of Practical Reason.

UPDATE: V-man blogs over at Left2Right.

UPDATE 2: Hey, look. One of my professors is a Left2Right co-blogger. I took Competing Theories of Justice from Debra Staz sophomore year. I got a B.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Some Preliminary NCAA Tournament Thoughts

I never would have pegged Washington as a #1 seed; the PAC-10 actually seems to be getting more respect than due it this year. East coast bas nothing. Interesting that so much weight was put on the conference tournaments throughout the selection process. We've always regarded them as purely mercenary, just out to squeeze a bit more revenue out of the whole student-athlete money machine before the season ends.

With a potential second-round matchup against Duke, Stanford looks to extend its leave-in-the-second-round-or-earlier streak. But after the way the team has adapted to a new coach after starting slow, and kept its performance up after repeated personnel losses, nobody can complain.

On the topic of Stanford, it's funny the women's team didn't pull a #1 seed, but those seem to be bad luck on the farm anyway.

The ESPN guys all think Vermont will upset Syracuse, but they're wrong.

Blogging has been and will continue to be light, as it's finals week. Not to worry, there's lots of stuff in the queue.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Is Hillary Clinton the Next Trent Johnson?

Discuss how Ted Leland's hiring practices may be a model for the Democratic Party's nomination process over at BLawG and Economics. Me, I'm off to the Washington State game. Beat the Cougs!

Thank You, Jessica Grant

This is the third incarnation of this blog. I originally started it when I was studying abroad in Berlin for six months, to have a place to keep copies of the letters I was sending home to my family and friends. I deleted it a bit hastily, but fortunately had all the good stuff archived. Anyway, I was inspired to start again when Jessica told me about reading those letters aloud to her family at the dinner table. So thanks Jess for that piece of validation. I've put the letters up in the archives. Enjoy.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Disclaimer

Update 9/1/09: I am a lawyer. However, I am still not your lawyer. You are still not my client, and I am still not giving you legal advice.

I am not your lawyer. You are not my client. I am not giving you legal advice.

Monday, February 28, 2005

I Should Have Been an Economist

Now if that isn't the least-sexiest title ever, I will eat my hat. In fact, I don't even own a hat, but I will procure one, specifically so that I may then eat it.*

In all seriousness, econ is full of useful concepts that you just don't find anywhere else. More and more often, I find myself talking about everyday events in terms of opportuninty costs and marginal benefits. Anyway, go read Marginal Revolution and the Becker-Posner Blog. They are both nutritious and delicious.

*Hat may be fashioned out of existing food products.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

The Emperor Is Not as Forgiving as I Am

There is a certain kind of joke my father likes to tell, where he will say something outrageous that we all recognize as wildly out of character. "Ha ha, Pop," we will laugh, "you are so silly." I hadn't thought about it before, but of course I like to tell exactly the same kind of joke, I'd just never realized my dad and I were so similar in that respect. Now if you think about it, this is a pretty risky brand of humor. Very poor cost/benefit ratio. At best you get a half-hearted chuckle or a sarcastic eye roll. Worst case scenario, your "out of character" banter is interpreted as the real thing. I remember once when I was a kid my dad joked that he'd lost our house in a bet with our neighbors, and we'd have to leave. I was, understandably I feel, more than a little distraught.


It has recently been made clear that talking that way is a Bad Idea. Henceforth, a resolution: I will not make jokes like my dad. I reserve the right, of course, to quote Darth Vader when appropriate.

This post has been edited to protect the guilty.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Bad News

So we lose to Oregon State by 1. That smarts. Hopefully we can still beat the Ducks.

Also, did anyone else think that cheap shot at Laguna Beach on the OC tonight was uncalled for? I did.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

In Which I Desire to Fashion My Own Clothing

So a friend of mine, and a friend of practically everybody's, it turns out, manages his own social crusade/apparel and merchandising line called Legalize Carbs. I've been thinking about a number of t-shirt designs I would really like to wear, if only I could have them made. Or make them myself. Or draw them in the first place. I know there are places that will do printing for you, even in limited runs, but I think I could get an even better vintage/period/indie/retro/poseur feel by doing the silk screening myself, in print runs of one. If I ever get around to going to the art store, I think my first design will be something like this:

I would apologize for the poor picture quality, but I'm not feeling all that sorry. That's for the Good Intentions Road Paving Company, LTD™. I was thinking white on green. Random squiggles around the logo to be filled in with Victorian-looking random squiggles, as inspired by this design from Penny Arcade. Actually, my first design would have to be something less complicated, because I will suck at printing. Maybe I can bribe/coerce my brother into helping me. I wonder if he'll work for beer.

Also, "Che" of carbs fame above sent me this link, because I am magical.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Giving Blood is a Test of Strength

Not in the sense that it is painful or difficult, but in the way you are expected to behave. If you are donating, you must not show any sign of weakness. It's like some tribal initiation ritual. So I'm sitting there, with a tube literally draining my precious bodily fluids through a hole in my arm, and it occurs to me that this is just uncomfortable enough to prevent me from doing my philosophy reading. I find that I just cannot concentrate on Michael Bratman's functional theory of intention when my veins are leaking. So I put down my book. Before I know it, the blood center staff are all over me like savannah hyenas on a sick gazelle. Am I okay? Do I feel faint? Would I like more water? No, I'm fine, it's just that feeling in my arm makes it hard to concentrate. They are not persuaded. As penance for my frailty, I must ritually cleanse myself by drinking liters of water and eating a half-pound of pretzels, the symbolic blood and body of some ancient sanguine deity. The gods appeased, I am finally allowed to leave.

Honestly, the only reason I keep going back there is because they always tell me I have beautiful veins. I'm such a sucker for flattery.

This month's Atlantic

There's an essay by Ross Douthat called The Truth About Harvard that talks about how students, especially humanities students, at elite universities don't work all that hard, and how there is no meaningful academic core. One thing he says is that there are only isolated pockets of greatness where a professor can engage the class and make them actually learn something. I followed up on some links and this Douthat seems like a very perceptive fellow. Got to keep an eye out for his stuff in the future.

There's another piece by David Kennedy about how George W. Bush's foreign policy is pretty much Wilsonian, and that this policy is sort of a natural expression of America. I was always sympathetic towards Wilsonian ideas, and to the stated aims of the Bush presidency (leaving aside for a moment quesions about their execution of those aims). Anyway, David M Kennedy (together with Thomas Sheehan) taught two-thirds of my freshman humanities requirement in just the kind of sweeping, engaging, oversubscribed course Douthat writes about. It was called Democratic Societies and the two-quarter class was just the kind of classic three-millenium survey of the intellectual, historical, and material history of American democracy you'd think went out of style decades ago. So a big thank you to David Kennedy for being part of that.

I was happy to see that I don't fit Douthat's mold for the typical liberal-turned-lebertarian. I'll have you all know I read Friedman and Mill first, and only got around to Atlas Shrugged last summer, so I could see what all the fuss was about. I am different and special. So there.

UPDATE: I wrote about reading Rand in one of those dispatches from Berlin that got this whole bloggging thing going. I know people liked reading those, and I'll get them back up online soon.

Reincarnation

Before today, I've created this blog and killed it off three times. Now it's back again, and I'm not sure what that means. It could be something precious but lost, born anew. It could be just another iteration of the creative process. It could be a shambling zombie re-animation of ideas better left buried. I do know what I'm going to treat it as: the latest reincarnation of something with too much karma to be allowed to become one with the universe just yet. If this weblog is the body that spirit will occupy, and I'll do my best to make it comfortable and entertaining while I'm at it.

If I was going to be reincarnated on this earth, I'd hope someobdy would take the time to build me a nice dog to inhabit. Preferably a medium-sized one, large enough for a good throaty bark and too big to be carried around in somebody's purse. Give me somebody to scrath me behind the ears. If possible, get me a duck hunter, so I can splash off through swamps to fetch things, and ride in the back of a truck on the freeway, with my ears flapping in the wind. Let me lay around chewing on stuff most of the day, and I'll be happy.

As far as this weblog is concerned, reincarnation involves finding a new role. I currently see this place as a safety-release valve to the artistic/creative pipeline in my brain. Other bits of higher-pressure plumbing already have other, more appropriate outlets. If you're looking for insightful political commentary or soul-baring romantic testimonials, heavens knows there are places online to find them. This place is for the kinds of things I would say if you caught me staring out of a car window and asked me what I was thinking about.