When The Boogie Man Goes To Sleep, He Checks His Closet For Jack Bauer

Fans of those great Chuck Norris jokes or 24 will enjoy this list of Jack Bauer sayings. But it leaves out a few of my favorites, which I will reproduce below.

For fans of the latest season:

The only reason you are still conscious is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to have to carry you.

For viewers concerned about the romanticization of interrogation:

One time Jack Bauer lost his keys, so he tied himself to a chair and tortured himself for half an hour until he told himself where they were.

For everyone, but especially those jerkoffs at Division:

If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.